‘Friends’, ‘the family you choose’, ‘those idiots that put your hand in warm water that time you fell asleep on the beach’… Whatever you want to call them, these people form a massive part of what make our lives worth living. Companionship should be something that we all invest in, but is usually one of the first things we tend to make cuts on when we lack either time or money. We talk a lot about cutting expenses at MTM, but good friends are definitely worth their maintenance, and so here are some quickfire ways to keep those relationships going…
Conduct a Friend Audit
Ok, so this sounds more cynical than it is… It’s still pretty cynical though.
We all have friends for many different reasons. Some motivate us to be better, others are always there for us regardless the situation, and there are those that you’re friends with for no particular reason but for the fact that they’re always ready to stick on a onsie and marathon Game of Thrones. These relationships make for great investments, but like all investments, there are also shit ones.
There’s no easy way to say this, but some relationships are toxic. To hold on to them in the hope that things will return to what they once were can be detrimental to your well-being. To top it off, we have a finite amount of time and it would be unfair to gift these unhealthy relationships the same amount of time and effort as the amazing people mentioned above.
Start your audit by listing out the top 5 things you value in a friend. You should consider:
- Your aspirations: because we are a reflection of our environment.
- What you have to offer: giving is a major aspect of friendship. More to the point, you may be the toxic person in the friendship!
- Compatibility: Do your asprirations converge? Can you learn from eachother? Do you have any form of lower common denominator at all?
Now this is not to say you should ditch your friends the moment that situations get rough, but sometimes you have to ask yourself hard questions, and whether to break off souring relationships is one of them…
It’s 2017 at the time of writing this. I know Back to the Future predicted that we’d have holograms and flying cars by now but Skype or a cheeky Facetime aren’t too bad either. Almost every instant messaging platform offers a wifi call or a video chat option. Take a few minutes every once in a while to call these people that make your life worthwhile.
You finish work and look at your phone to find that you are knee deep in Whatsapp or Facebook messages. Panic begins to set in. Your heart rate increases as you open the message; ‘Something must have gone wrong! Is it Mum? Is it Dad? Did the cat get it’s head stuck in a vase again?’… Nope! It’s 34 messages about whether it’s the ‘S’ or the ‘C’ is silent in the word ‘scent’...
Group chats can be annoying. They’re either completely dead with that one guy that shares the odd meme every once in a while or they are hyperactive to the point you consider smashing your phone with a bag of frozen mixed vegetables. When done right though, we get a perfect medium for keeping in contact with those friends that you do not want to drift away from, especially if you all lead hectic lives.
A fundamental aspect of most living things’ psychological welfare, we all need these great people around us. Make time for them, set aside space for them in your ever more frugal budgets and even though they can be hard work occassionally, rememeber that sometimes you’re no sunday morning either!
“A good friend will help you move. A great friend will help you move a body”
My motivation for this post came from me missing out on big event for a close friend because I had other commitments. A huge shout out to him and one other idiot for being absolute pillars of inspiration in my life.